The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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