Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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