yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Semen is not good for contacts.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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