Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
home. puking in laundry basket.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize