Rock
Scissors
Fuck
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
