Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
