Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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