We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
