i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
