There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
