I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
