I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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