its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
