dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
