I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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