there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
