My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you didnt know i had herpes?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
