You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
