oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
