I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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