im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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