Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize