and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
its not stalking. its research.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
