bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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