Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize