How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
