She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's rum buckets o'clock
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
