How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
3pm strippers are depressing
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
