I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Randomize
