Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
