I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize