Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
