someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
