Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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