That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
