I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
