woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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