I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
