for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
