How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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