If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
