he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
