She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
