PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
