she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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