She is in my trunk
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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