Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
