We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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