theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
