Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
