dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
