So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
