my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The air was thick with penises
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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