I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
