Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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