highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize