thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
