i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
How's work?
Spinning.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
