I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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