Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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